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December 10,2020

What Is the Imago — and Why Does It Matter for Your Relationship?

Imago is Latin for “image,” and in Imago relationship therapy, the Imago is the unconscious image you carry with you of your perfect partner. That’s right -- at least subconsciously, you already think you know who Mr. (or Ms.) Right is. It’s why we’re drawn towards certain types of people in our love life. Which sounds like a good thing, right? Our brains are unconsciously pushing us towards the right person. The person who will be perfect for us and give us that “happily ever after” we’ve all been trained to want, right? Not exactly. (more…)

October 1,2020

Improve Communication with the Couples Dialogue

Do you feel like your partner never really listens to you? Do they complain that you don’t talk to them about things? You need to improve communication. Sounds familiar, right? We’ve been told over and over again that good, effective communication is one of the secrets of a strong, long-lasting relationship. But unfortunately, most of us just aren’t very good at it. Because it’s counter-intuitive! Well, just like anything else, communicating effectively is a skill. That means you can learn it. You just need the right tools. (more…)

September 18,2020

Couples Quiz: Our Visions for Our Relationship

You feel like your partner isn’t being romantic enough. They feel like you criticize them too much.  When there is dissatisfaction in a relationship, it is often because the reality isn’t matching up to your relationship vision -- what you believe that relationship should be. And here's the kicker -- many people don’t even realize they have a vision! In Imago, we have couples work to figure out what that vision is -- separately and then together. How does that work? With a couples quiz. (more…)

July 2,2020

The Mystery of Attraction

In some cases, people talk about their knees getting weak. Or being “drawn toward” someone. The attraction they feel is like some kind of seismic shift inside their very being — immediate and hard-hitting.  (more…)

June 9,2020

How to Make a SMART Request of Your Partner

You know that relationships thrive (or wither) based on communication. You need to be able to ask your partner for what you want. And vice versa. Unfortunately, most of us still struggle with this. Either we hem and haw to avoid what feels like an uncomfortable conversation. Or we “ask” for change by complaining and blaming. And when we do manage to make a straightforward request, we often make it hard for our partners to understand exactly how to fulfill the request. Imago has a solution for that: the SMART request. (more…)

May 18,2020

Every Relationship Frustration Is a Goldmine for Growth

Been thinking more about couples therapy lately? When you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s a given that you’ll feel frustrated with your partner at one time or another. Often, these frustrations can seem both silly and vitally important at the same time. But why? (more…)

April 15,2020

The Impact of Our Childhood on Our Adult Relationships

Imago philosophy says it is our earliest interactions with caretakers that informs our handlings of our relationships in adulthood. The image we formed from our experience with our parents and/or other caretakers is called the Imago. (more…)

Are you tired of fighting? Feeling helpless and hopeless?

It really can be easier. You can understand and apply what it takes to be connected again -- or for the first time. CONTACT DANA

My first experience with Dana many years ago was so positive that I returned for more help this past year. I knew that she would be able to get to the heart of the problem quickly and to help me get on track toward a resolution.

Gloria P.

Before you give up on your relationship, let her try to help!


We are now able to communicate...in a constructive and loving way...

Shirley S.

Her explanation and application of the Imago technique was very practical and easy to grasp. She helped us immensely with some relationship issues that were quite deeply entrenched and painful.

Meg R.

Over the years I have come to find out parts of myself I didn't even know existed. The best thing I could say about Dana is I felt safe and compelled to open up more than I ever have before. And in doing so, I have started to love and accept myself just the way I am

Louella J.
Copyright @2020 Dana Cole, LMFT